The film rolls are flying out of my Holga. My nightly sojourns have become epic journeys, rain or shine, at all hours, just looking for the perfect images. (My dog is very happy, as she likes to accompany me while I shoot.)

Since starting my new body of work I have discovered that the two great shots from the first roll actually belong in different series. There has been a definite separation of mood and style between my downtown and park images. This often happens when starting new work. The original idea that sparks the creative process evolves as pictures are scanned and edited.

‘As Darkness Falls’ is now a depiction of urban nightlife while ‘As Darkness Falls 2’ will showcase the isolated parks and cemeteries of downtown Vancouver.

It’s always so exciting to see the evolution of a new idea; I never quite know where inspiration will take me.

The Yale

The Cafe

Ambluance Chasing

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”

Edgar Allan Poe

Night image shot with 120 Holga

Night has always held a deep fascination for me. In the dark the world is a parallel universe. Streets, buildings, neighbourhoods, people, all take on a strange dreamlike appearance. The glow from streetlamps cast light patterns into black shadows that trick the eyes and confuse the senses.

Walking alone through the (mostly) deserted streets the city reveals itself in a different ‘light’. A beautiful underworld filled with interesting characters and dark corners.

This is what I aim to capture in my new photographic series.

The fork in the road in the above image is something I have been planning on shooting for a while. It is not far from where I live and I’ve always found it a visually interesting spot. To the left the road trails off into the pitch black night, while straight ahead the streetlamp provides a small moment of illumination before you are once again plunged into the dark. Stanley Park stretches along the right side (thick with trees) and it’s rare to see anyone walking this stretch of road in the wee hours.

It can be a frightening place or a peaceful escape from the constant bustle of downtown, depending on what mood you’re in. That’s the beauty of the world at night, it changes as we change.

This was again shot hand-held, about a 14 second exposure with ambient light using 400 film. (If you want to shoot night scenes with a Holga you must make sure you buy one with the ‘bulb’ setting. This will allow you to keep the shutter open for as long as you need.)

Tomorrow I send some more rolls off to the lab, I’m keeping my fingers crossed……

Tonight I feel like a small child on Christmas morning. After all the anticipation of wondering what my tiny wrapped ‘present’ might contain, it has finally revealed itself to my wonder and excitement.

Now I realize that many of you might look at this image and think “why is she so happy about this picture with all its flaws and obvious technical defects?”……Why?…..because it closely resembles the exact vision I had in mind for my new series ‘As Darkness Falls’. I want this project to look gritty and surreal, like a waking nightmare. I want defects and imperfections to mirror and enhance the emotional tone of the content.

This was the reason I turned to the humble Holga to bring my urban vignettes alive.

Of course being new to film and the quirky Holga (in particular) I was afraid it would take me a long time to achieve anything close to the images scratching at the inside of my imagination. For me it doesn’t seem to matter how much technical knowledge I amass or how many creations I breath life into, there is always a moment right before I begin a new project where I panic and think “I’m never going to be able to do this”.

Projecting your thoughts onto a blank filmstrip and then holding them up for the world to view is always a mildly terrifying experience. The logistics of how to shoot it are also overwhelming. There are so many different ways, different mediums, different cameras, different opinions, different lighting and different outcomes. It’s no wonder so many artists self-medicate…..the mind spins just considering the possibilities.

Given all these variables you can hopefully begin to understand why I was singing “happy, happy, joy, joy…” and dancing around my apartment in a child-like fashion when I realized I potentially had some worthwhile images on this first roll.

As it turns out two of the twelve shots should be keepers.

The firetruck: shot with my 120 film Holga

This is the first one. The image I believed had the most potential when I shot it. The one I was anxiously waiting to see.

Serendipitous events (happy accidents) definitely play a part in a photographers life. Turning onto my neighbourhood street at the precise moment a fire truck (in all its siren blazing glory) screeched to halt right in front of me was a gift from the creative universe.

(I know I am morally flawed for being excited about the drama of the fire truck image while the residents of the apartment building were wondering if they would have homes in the morning. Looking at the scene from behind a lens definitely detaches you from the reality of the moment. I find it a strange paradox to be an artist sometimes. We are obsessed with presenting the world as we see it yet we are always somewhat living as outsiders.)

The fire truck definitely projects the dark undertone I was hoping for and will now be the foundation that I build the rest of my series on. For the technically minded, I shot this hand-held at night with a 14 second exposure using the ‘bulb’ setting. I wanted that strange motion/blurred effect in the images (hence no tripod).

As someone who has suffered from chronic insomnia since childhood I have always wanted to document my night wanderings and now I am finally exploring this part of my life. Tomorrow night I’m going out in search of other night owls like me to shoot….adventure awaits…

Well, thanks to the endless deluge this week I was not able to start my Holga shooting experiment until this evening.

While I do usually live to be out in howling rainstorms (I am a Vancouverite, after all!) for this particular series I wanted clear weather. As I am already uncertain whether the shots will turn out (hand-held, at night, with lengthy shutter speeds using a Holga) I didn’t want to also throw pouring rain into the mix….not yet anyway.

So tonight when the clouds finally parted I took my chance, headed out and fired off my roll of 120 film. While I was shooting I stumbled across the Fire Department charging into an apartment building…..(is it lucky or unlucky that someones building caught fire at the exact moment I walked by with a camera in hand? I’m still feeling the guilt of being excited about a cool shot while peoples homes were in jeopardy. I wonder about my moral compass sometimes!)

After shooting for an hour I came home only to realize I would now have to wait until Monday to see the results of my experimental shooting.

Three whole days! Three whole days of not knowing if any of the images are worthwhile. Three whole days of having to wait before post processing. Being a Gen-Xer waiting is not my forte…instant gratification…that’s what I want. I want what I want and I want it NOW! That is Generation X’s motto after all.

It was about this time when I realized I am an incredibly impatient photographer.

You see….I’ve never shot film. I’m allergic to bleach & alkaline chemicals and I had this attitude when I was younger that if I couldn’t develop my own film and print my own images then the process of being of photographer was missing the creative magic somehow. (I just really like to take a project from the initial idea right through to the finished product. Missing any of the steps just doesn’t seem right. I guess I’m a little OCD.)

So I became a painter instead. Flinging oil to canvas.

It wasn’t until the digital revolution that my photographic love affair really took place. I’ve now discovered though that I am accustomed to that high of instant imagery. Normally after a shoot I run home, throw the card into the card reader and in 2 minutes all of my images are dancing in front of my eyes with the comforting glow of my Apple HD Cinema Display illuminating my room.

Not this time though….no…this time I found myself staring at the little canister of rolled up film wishing I could see what was inside. Pacing back and forth I began muttering…Why?…Why doesn’t the lab have quick develop on the weekends? Why did it have to pour rain until Friday night?….Why am I talking to a little black roll of film?

How did the old masters deal with such uncertainty?

The not knowing is what is the hardest for me. If I experiment with my digital I have instant results that I can use to adjust my shooting accordingly….but with the Holga that’s just not an option. I have to remember my exposure times for the individual images or risk not being able to replicate a shot I may like. I have to know exactly was I was doing because there is no metadata to tell me later.

No lovely computerized information…….

I guess it’s true what they say about the journey being more important than the destination.

I don’t really know where this Holga experiment will take me or if any of the images will be good enough to ever use…..but it’s definitely a fascinating process. To throw off the crutch of technology and to shoot completely blind with a camera that is quirky at best…I’m finding it thrilling and frustrating all at the same time.

Like stepping off a cliff without knowing what is beneath you.

Until next time…..

I’m very excited today to finally have my new website finished and loaded. Along with my new website is my brand new blog. Yay!

All photography all the time. That’s the theme of these ramblings.

I thought I would start my first post with my favourite image. This image was shot in the backcountry behind Cypress Ski Hill in North Vancouver. The snow at the time was hip deep and pristine. I definitely worked hard hiking up onto the ridge to shoot this little stand of trees.

I have been told by many that it looks like a model constructed in miniature. I think this is why I enjoy it so much. The idea that nature can resemble something fabricated and vice versa, that whole idea intrigues me.

You’ll notice that the snow in most of my images is actually gray not white. I choose to intentionally underexpose my snow shots to create a different feel to the images. I find the texture and lines become more pronounced and I like the trees to be black and shadowy. What can I say, I’m drawn to the dark side.

While I usually shoot digital (with my beloved 5D) I have lately fallen in love with the humble Holga. Yes, I know I’ve come late to the whole Holga revolution (I always have been behind the trends) but it’s such an interesting camera.
I’m always telling my students that the creative is more important than the technology for the evolution of their photography.

I see so many people caught up in the gear and the latest and greatest products on the market but sometimes I feel that having all that camera equipment can actually stifle creativity. That’s why the whole Holga concept is so great.

Holga’s are not technical in the least. After all there are only two settings and no chance for a lens change. In order to shoot something compelling you have to think ‘outside the box’. It’s creativity in the purest form. You have no idea what you’re really capturing and you have to work the angles and lighting or risk not capturing anything. It’s a grand experiment!

So tonight I’m going to head out with my humble Holga and see what images reveal themselves. Shooting at night with the Holga will be a challenge but that’s the whole point. It’s fun to push the boundaries and see what happens. After all, some masterpieces started out as mistakes.

I’ll post the experiment as it develops along with many other photography related things. Cheers!